MOVIE REVIEW | Fifty Shades Freed [2018]


Fifty Shades Freed

Beauty, Brains + Rating

Synopsis
Anastasia and Christian get married, but Jack Hyde continues to threaten their relationship. ~IMDb

Movie CertificationRestricted Rating 

Review

It’s been a while since I posted a movie review, but I promised that in 2018 I would get back to doing them.  It’s just a shame that I managed to start with this one, but what the hell.  In any case, we are finally at the end of the Fifty Shades Trilogy with yesterdays release of Fifty Shades Freed [2018].

Now I’m not going to lie and say I had any real hope for this movie in any way because I would probably burst into flames if I did.  I wasn’t expecting much from Fifty Shades Freed, because I have seen both Fifty Shades of Grey and Fifty Shades Darker.  While I only reviewed the first one here on the blog, the long and short of it for both of them is that they are pretty much crap.  Just like the books actually.  Having gone into this with little to no expectation, I can’t say I was disappointed in any way.  It was badly cast, had really bad sex scenes and crappy dialogue.  It can’t even say that is was as visually stunning as the first one, or had as good a film score as the second one.

I spent most of the movie either in stunned disbelief of just how bad it was or laughing hysterically at all the things that weren’t supposed to be funny.  Jamie Dornan continues to be the least sexy leading man I have ever seen.  He comes of as more like a serial killer waiting to lure you into his windowless van than anything.  Dakota Johnson continues to make you just want to smack her in a way that she won’t find enticing.  And who in the fresh hell is Rita Ora and who’s bright idea was it to cast her or let her sing anything on the soundtrack?  Who is she?  What does she do?  Because judging by her efforts in Fifty Shades Freed it’s not acting and it certainly isn’t singing.

I’m going to go ahead and give Fifty Shades Freed  because with the end of this movie signals the end of this crappy franchise.  

Runtime
1h 45min

Genre
Drama | Romance | Thriller

Cast
Dakota Johnson | Jamie Dornan | Kim Basinger | Marcia Gay Harden | Eric Johnson |

Director
James Foley

Distributor
Universal Pictures

Release Date
February 8, 2018

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